By Sian Brewis

What's the secret of a happy marriage? Ask any golden wedding couple and they'll probably say give and take, never going to bed on an argument.

Personally, I recommend separate bank accounts.

Arvinder and Sarbjit, stars of The Family (C4, 9pm), have been wed 35 years and the secret of their success seems to be keeping up a constant comic banter.

You don't know how much of this slice of reality TV is edited, but this is almost sitcom-like.

After his early morning exercise, dad gets out his mobile to ring his sleeping wife upstairs and wake her up. "What do you want?," she says, sleepily. "Want cup of tea!" "Stupid man!," she shouts.

It continues at breakfast: "Want more?," she asks. "What am I, a pig?" "A pig only eats so much food – not like you!"

All of Arvinder's demands are met with a gutteral ticking off from Sarbjit. It's an odd sound, "Aaccht!" a cross between a growly "tsk" and clearing phlegm.

They're a good-natured, warm-hearted lot and it's easy to get involved in their world – from soppy lovebirds Sunny and Shay who are planning their huge Indian wedding, to son Tindy, 23, who is such a mummy's boy he's never cooked more than toast and admits to not knowing how the washing machine works.

If Arvinder and Sarbjit are the comic relief, there's real drama with Shay.

She's a sweet girl happily planning her dream wedding but at the same time, she's facing the heartache of knowing her mother disowned her for marrying Sunny. They have not spoken in five years.

Most of the time she discusses it matter of factly, but after an emotional meeting with her brother she breaks down: "They've washed their hands of me!," she sobs before running upstairs and ripping out family photos as Sarbjit tries to comfort her.

Later, Arvinder and Sarbjit are on the sofa. "What the hell are you doing?," he shouts at his sleeping wife. "Snoring like a pig." "Shut up, man."

Hurrah – the world's hardest woman is back.

All hail Ros Myers (Hermione Norris) who in the opening episode of Spooks (BBC 1, 9pm) managed to point a gun at a man's privates, tell off the Home Secretary and get her face spattered with someone else's blood without blinking an eyelash.

And the names of the baddies get better too. Last night it was SARV the Sacred Army of Righteous Vengeance. Who knows, one day they may use THRUSH in a Man from Uncle tribute.

Britain's Best Brain (Five) seemed to have some odd ways of testing how clever we were – chief among them was guessing when a giant balloon would burst. Mensa need not worry.