By Jeremy Clay

Frank Skinner is in a hurry. So is Lee Mack. They're on their way to Turkey, and they need to get there before the news. But they're in such a rush on Around the World in 80 Days (9pm, BBC1) they've forgotten to be entertaining.

Instead, the opening 30 minutes are like a compilation of out-takes from Treasure Hunt. Without the helicopter. Or Anneka Rice's bum.

Here's Frank and Lee on the Eurostar. Here's Frank and Lee in Paris, stagily flummoxed by the first foreign stuff they encounter. Here they are again, yawning on a sleeper train to Vienna or staring out of the windows on a high-speed boat down the Danube.

"We keep seeing all these great places," said a clearly knackered Mack, "and we've got to keep going."

TV delights in artificial deadlines, but for once there's a reason for this haste. The clue's in the title.

But unlike Phileas Fogg or Michael Palin, Skinner and Mack aren't going the full distance. The comedians are the first pair in a celeb relay.

It's for Children in Need, and therefore above reproach.

But a good cause deserves good telly. And for the first half hour it didn't seem like we'd get that.

Then it dawned on the producer that 60 minutes of sustained dash wasn't going to be especially enjoyable to watch.

So Frank and Lee calmed it down a little, and suddenly Around The World in 80 Days got much more agreeable.

Frank took himself off to the Hungarian stadium where Puskás and Co gave England's footballers the worst whipping in their history.

Then they visited the royal family in Belgrade. They seemed nice, the Serbian royals. "Tell me about West Bromwich," Crown Princess Katherine said to Skinner.

But it wasn't until the very end that this hour-long show delivered its first proper laugh.

The two were strolling through a bazaar in Istanbul lined with stalls selling all manner of exotic stuff.

A market trader stopped Skinner and asked where he was from.

"England", said Frank. "Are you looking for Yorkshire pudding?" asked the trader.

Joan Collins, who once acted out a sex scene in a lift, thinks British women should have more dignity.

So here she is to hector them about clothes and make-up, in the absurd Joan Does Glamour (9pm, ITV).

It's a blatant trespass onto Gok Wan's turf.

Whatever you think of Wan, his enthusiasm is beyond dispute. Collins, by contrast, gave off the air of a woman who's doing ITV a favour.

She was in Plymouth, as if on a royal visit, to cajole the blameless women of the Littlefair family into wearing dresses.

But first, she fancied visiting a supermarket and being impertinent to strangers. "I don't mean to be rude," she told a passing shopper, "but fleece should be on sheep".

And fur should be on animals, Joan, but that doesn't stop you owning a £20,000 sable coat does it?