Never mind king, think of shoppers
They have started excavating a council car park in Leicester as they think the remains of Richard III could be buried there.
Here, I have imagined myself to be a woman who has a big shop to do and was counting on using the car park.
Richard III And the car park
You'll never believe what I've just heard.
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They're digging up the car park to find Richard III!
You think I'm joking, no, I'm not kidding,
It's at the history society's bidding.
Parking these days is quite bad enough
Without all this archaeological stuff.
I went there today, a big shop-up to do,
When a uniformed man came into view,
Red cones and ticker tape barring my way,
"You can't use this part of the pay and display."
"Why not," I demanded, he glared undeterred,
"Cos they're digging up the car park to find Richard III."
I sat in my car, jaw almost dropping,
I don't care about past kings, I'm here to go shopping.
So, I had to drive on, shaking my head,
All of this hassle for a monarch long dead.
I have the four grandchildren here for the day,
I can't tell you how much food they tuck away.
It's serious shopping, carrier bags by the ton,
And nowhere to park now this digging's begun!
I wouldn't mind, but as I recall,
Old Richard wasn't a nice bloke at all.
He plotted and murdered to get himself crowned,
Why don't we just let him rot underground?
So my trolley's too full, with a mind of its own,
And the cashier unmoved by my sorrowful tone.
"It's madness to dig up…" I've just started saying,
"That's £54.20, how are you paying?"
Now I'm parked miles away, and dragging my load,
Like a donkey of old on that long, dusty road.
I get home, exhausted, to excitement and cheers,
"Grandma, there's grandma", the first face appears.
They rifle through the bags, inspect what I've bought,
They "ooh" and they "aah", then one has a thought.
"You took ages, grandma", my reply sounds absurd.
"Just blame it all on Richard III!"
Ros Nagler, Radlett, Hertfordshire.
With the interest now rekindled in the whereabouts of Richard III, I wonder if anyone remembers a programme some years ago on BBC2 where Richard III – who had been accused of murdering the two princes in the Tower of London – was put on trial in a modern setting with lawyers and a 12-person jury.
I remember waiting until past midnight for the outcome and he was found not guilty.
It has been said Shakespeare villified Richard III because he did not like the Plantagenets, so I wonder how many other historic figures have had similar treatment with the biased accounts of historians.
I do hope the search being undertaken to find Richard's remains proves successful – he has always been one of my favourite characters in the history of England.
Sheila Pegg, Glenfield.