TV review: the American election

Forget Obama v McCain: that was over in less than three hours. The real battle last night was for ratings.

CNN splashed out on a hologram reporter, Fox News bought a big-as-a-house TV plasma screen, but the BBC? It has David Dimbleby and a table. How very British.

At right-wing Fox, it seems the party’s over before the first results.

Host Brit Hume asks: "Republicans in the wilderness – do we need a new leader?" Ah, says one pundit. But we’ve got Jeb Bush.

On the BBC, the earnest but terribly dull Jeremy Vine is showing off a big touch screen map as the first two results come in. It zooms in, it zooms out. Where’s the swingometer?

Time to channel hop. BBC Parliament pledges no cliches in its coverage. Cut to its reporter: "This campaign has been like Apollo 11. It has changed the script forever," she trills.

There’s a huge gap after the first results. CNN has its hologram reporter to talk to and about.

Jessica Yellin is in Chicago, but is being "beamed" back to the studio: "I follow in the tradition of Princess Leia."

David has only Jeremy, so he starts picking on him and his map. Luckily, Christopher Hitchens pops up, calling Sarah Palin "ludicrous" and entertainingly rubbishing everyone.

Meanwhile, Grant Park in Chicago, Obama’s home city, is filling up with his supporters. If crowds are any indicator, it’s starting to look like a easy win.

Obama takes Ohio.

"McCain’s situation now looks dire," concedes a glum Fox News.

Back at the Beeb, and Simon Schama wants a result. He asks Dimbleby: "Are you going to call the presidency, David?"

No, he says. "Wuss," says Schama.

By now, Fox reporters have taken to comfort eating: "Karl’s brought cookies."

Sky News reports Republican HQ has switched off the news, and Hank Williams Jr is playing them country and western songs.

4am: Obama takes California and Washington – he’s done it. The cheers are deafening in Chicago. It’s amazing to watch and strangely uplifting.

Even at Fox, the historic moment isn’t lost on them: "For an oppressed minority to finally have one of its sons in the White House... this is America at its grandest."

One supporter sums it up neatly for the BBC’s John Simpson: "We’re a real country, one that’s not divided any more."